Hello everyone,
I hope all is well with you all and that you are all finding success in your quest to be a healthier you!
Today's post is going to be a little different from my usual post. I really just wanted to share a realization I had the other day. Most of my posts I try to offer tips, and motivation and I'm not sure that this Post has much of either of those things, However if you have ever struggled, know you are not alone... I'm right there with you! :)
So with all that being said, a few nights ago I was at my parents house hanging out with my family. Everyone was around, except my dad who was out of town, I went over to spend sometime with my siblings and mom because my brother and his wife were in town. After being there for a little while everyone decided they wanted ice cream, me and my mom decided we didn't need ice cream because we are doing the 60 day challenge and trying to loose as much weight as possible, so instead of them spending less money and going to the store to get the ice cream, my mom decided she would pay for everyone to go get ice cream at cold stone, even though it was going to be a lot more expensive, just so the ice cream wouldn't be in the house. Talk about having some major will power, way to go mom! As me and my mom watched everyone walk out the door with out us I started to cry. When she asked me what was wrong all I could say is " why do we have to be fat, its not fair?". Sadly I cried for several minutes thinking about how I was being left out because I am trying to loose weight when everyone else in my family is thin and can just put in a few extra minutes at the gym to burn it off. I guess all at once I realized I have always been the one who feels left out, even when I wasn't trying to loose weight I felt like everyone would judge me when we ate ice cream because I was the fat one. Looking back on my life I was always bigger, I don't know what it feels like to be thin. I know that I am the way I am today because of me but I think never being thin and always feeling like the fat one contributed to that. I have been on " diets" on and off for the majority of my life and I'm sure alot of you feel that same way. Its not a fun thing to think about, and I think if all of us are honest with our selves we find a lot of hurt and pain thinking about things like that.
The last few days I have been really questioning if it is worth it. Is it worth all this work? Is it worth all the pain that gets brought up? Is it worth the late night and early morning work outs? Is it worth the seclusion that you have to have sometimes to keep yourself on track? and after going through all those questions and more I have come to the conclusion that it is worth the temporary discomfort for long term happiness and health even tho when I think of how much weight I have to loose the word "temporary" doesn't seem to fit. Now if we could just remember that. One day I hope and pray that we can all not have to be so obsessed with loosing weight. Yes this should be a life style change but I can't wait for the day that I am maintaining my weight and not trying to loose it! I have been trying to loose weight my entire life I'm sick of it. I want this to be the last time.
If there is one thing I have learned it would be, it is easy to have motivation at the beginning but real commitment and drive is found in the middle of the weight loss journey. Keep pushing towards your goal. The closer you get the more motivated you are going to be to keep going!
Love you guys! You are not alone in this journey I am always here if you need someone to talk to! Keep up the good work. Lets make this the time that we are successful and meet whatever goal weight or size that you have set for yourself :) I know we can do it!
Keep up the good work!
Brittney
